Thanksgiving With The Bakuras!
by Kristina Angelina
Summary: Ryou, Bakura, and Touzouko's Thanksgiving, also starring two certain Egyptians and Ryou's father. Prepare yourself for the insanity only the Bakura household can bring! (slight Bakushipping and Conspireshipping, rated for gay people and their beautiful antics, and makes no sense. Read it, will you?)


**Welcome to my dumb story folks! Please enjoy your short stay.**

 **Also, a quick warning: if this seems rushed towards the end, it's because it is. Why? I had the headache, dizziness, and numbness of the century and I can't focus. Hopefully my brain didn't explode or nothing.**

 **I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, it would be called, You-Gay-Bro.**

 **This isn't meant to make sense, by the way. Just warning you.**

* * *

 **Thanksgiving with The Bakuras!**

Ah, how Ryou loved this time of year.

The sound of Bakura and Touzouko screeching at each other all day. His father sitting on the couch, laughing his butt off at the latter two screeching like women on their PMS.

You do realize the last three statements was sarcastic, right. Right?

"Both of you, QUIET! I am _trying_ to concentrate!" Ryou shouted, crossing his arms indignantly. "If you continue with your childish antics, you will receive no dessert after dinner! Am I clear?!"

"Crystal," the two thieves replied grudgingly, glaring at each other.

"Good," Ryou said sweetly, almost-skipping back into the kitchen.

His father adjusted his glasses and glanced over at Akefia and Bakura, both of which were trying to murder the other with a glare. "Tell me, you two. Is Ryou always this strict with you?"

"Only because he acts like woman after she's been cheated on," Bakura snorted, jerking his chin in Touzouko's direction.

The other scoffed. "And how do you know women act that way? Experience?"

"No, you bloody imbecile. I'm gay."

"Correction: _we're_ gay."

"We _are_ the same person, you know."

"Yes, and I mourn over that fact daily."

"Get a life, you wanker."

"Only if I get Ryous'."

"DON'T YOU BLOODY DARE!"

"Is everything alright?" Ryou poked his head around the corner worriedly. "You both aren't threatening each other are you?" he sounded like a scolding mother.

A gorgeous scolding mother, but moving on.

"No son, they were just playing around," Mr. Bakura said with a smile, which widened when his son smiled back and walked back into the kitchen.

Touzouko and Bakura looked at each other and blinked. This man was amazing! Perhaps he could help them on their escapades of evil! With his perfect ability to lie and that smile that hid sweet, sweet malice, the three of them would be unstoppable!

"By the way, I just thought you should know that we're both quite gay for your son," Touzouko announced gravely, as if what he just said implied horrible things.

For Ryou, it probably did. Poor kid.

James Bakura's eyebrows disappeared into his rich blue hair. "Say that again."

"We love your bloody son because he's beautiful and we want him to be our bride," Bakura supplied helpfully.

The man blinked. "...does he like either of you? I don't want you two forcing yourselves onto him."

"He likes me," Bakura grinned, "but Touzouko's doomed."

Said thief scoffed. "Who's the one with the rippling biceps?" To emphasize this, he flexed his muscles.

Even Mr. Bakura drooled a bit.

Wait, he did? Dude, that's messed up. But Touzouko's sexy, so we'll forgive him just this once.

Ryou walked in – beautiful rear-end and all – with a cheerful smile on his face, soft brown eyes sparkling. "Well, the turkey's cooking, and the pie's almost finished. Everything smells so delicious!"

At the word "delicious", Touzouko and Bakura's eyes traveled to Ryou's butt, which looked quite"nice" in those tight black shorts he was wearing. The boy was – luckily for two certain gay men – warm-blooded and didn't like wearing pants indoors, even during the winter.

It made for a very nice show, if you get what I'm saying.

"I'm glad you two are treating each other kindly so far," Ryou said, smiling at his yami and Touzouko (who beamed rather proudly at this as it was a near-impossible feat). "Father, have you been getting along with them?"

"Oh yes, Ryou, quite well," James replied as he fiddled with the TV remote.

Bakura suddenly cleared his throat. "Ryou. I want to tell you something. Now. It cannot wait a second longer." He inwardly grinned at the glare he knew was on Touzouko's face.

"Yes?" The British youth inquired. "What is it?"

"Since this is supposedly a stupid holiday where you announced what you're thankful for, I just wanted to say..." The white haired yami cleared his throat dramatically, "...that I'm thankful you're my hikari."

Ryou blushed. "Thank you, Bakura. And I'm grateful you're my yami."

They smiled at each other.

It was the perfect moment!

Mr. Bakura's eyes widened in horror!

Touzouko was getting ready to strike Bakura over the head with a frying pan!

And then –!

I bet you're leaning forward in your chair in excitement, wanting to know what's going to happen next.

Fine then.

The dang doorbell rang.

"Coming!" Ryou shot up from the couch and dashed over the door, missing Touzouko's thunderous laugh of triumph, Bakura screeching, and Mr. Bakura's eyes returning to normal.

"Happy Christmas!"

Ryou raised an eyebrow and giggled. "Marik, it's Thanksgiving. And no offense, but it's Merry Christmas."

Marik shrugged. "Means the same thing in my world. Anywho, can I spend Thanksgiving with you? Please?"

Bakura and Touzouko glanced over at the door.

Man, if glares could kill, theirs' would've wiped out the entire country.

Ryou's eyes suddenly bulged. And no, it wasn't because the entire country was wiped out.

Marik's creepy yami was standing right beside him.

Like, RIGHT THERE.

Marik turned, curiously, to see what Ryou was looking at and then shrugged once more. "Oh, him. Yeah, he's here to. Isis kicked him out." He snicked at the last part.

Mariku rolled his eyes and barreled his way past Marik, pausing to stare at Ryou before smiling. "Hello, Ryou."

Repressing a terrified squeak, Ryou returned, "Hello, Mariku. How are you?"

Grasping the pale boy's hand, Mariku brought it to his lips and kissed it gently (quickly dodging the frying pan thrown at his head), smiling. "Well, thank you. And you?"

Ryou blushed. "I'm doing well myself. Do come inside."

The moment Mariku set foot in the living room, he was met with:

The Millennium Rod (Marik threw that at his head), yet another frying pan, the couch cushion, and three glares coming from three jealous beings.

Ryou picked up said items and shook his head distastefully. "Don't treat my guest so rudely. Shame on you all."

He walked back into the kitchen with a huff that was meant to be exasperated, but came out in an affectionate way.

Don't ask why he was huffing affectionately. He just was.

"How dare you kiss my hikari's hand!" Bakura snarled, glaring at Mariku.

The blonde shook his head. "I'm sorry. I won't kiss it again." A smirk that rivaled the devil's crossed his face. "Next time, it'll be his lips."

The room went nuts.

* * *

Dinner was finished and everyone had sat down to eat (you cannot imagine how hard it was to get Bakura and Mariku to sit next to each other, especially since Touzouko kept gloating that he got to sit next to Ryou, and Marik kept wailing that he wasn't in Touzouko's chair).

"What are you all thankful for?" Mr. Bakura asked curiously. He looked at Bakura, "You first."

Clearing his throat, the albino yami began. "Ryou, blood, daggers, the Millennium Ring, beer, and Ryou's butt."

If there was a bull in the room, it would've ran at Ryou.

He was that red.

Coughing and clearing his throat, Mr. Bakura's eyes shifted to Mariku. "And you?"

"Hair gel, a certain beautiful boy that graces this very room with his presence with a name that isn't Bakura or Marik, more hair gel, long capes that swish behind me when I walk, and the ability to kill people if they anger me."

Trying to not grab his son and run, James Bakura looked hopefully at Marik. Surely he wouldn't be attracted to –

"My sister and my brother, Ryou –"

Dang.

" – the Millennium Rod, my mascara, peach-scented shampoo, bright purple belly shirts, my motorcycle, my beautiful eyes, and my ability to scream very loudly."

No one questioned that last one. Too creepy.

"Ryou…? Your turn son." At least Mr. Bakura knew Ryou wouldn't say "I'm thankful for Ryou", because, well, he _was_ Ryou.

Still redder than a man that had been in the sun for 10 hours, Ryou meekly started his Thanksgiving list.

"Well… uh, of course you, father. And Bakura, Touzouko, Marik, Mariku, and the rest of my friends. I'm thankful to be alive (they all agreed on this one), I'm thankful I have a roof over my head, and most of all… I'm thankful that I'm here with those I love."

Marik bawled like a baby while wailing "it's so beautiful", Mariku, Touzouko, and Bakura were bawling because they'd been referred to as friends, and Mr. Bakura smiled at his son.

All in all, it was a very emotion moment.

Well, until they all abruptly stopped crying and Marik shrieked "food".

Ryou handed full plates to everyone (he made them wash their hands, of course, and only gave Marik the no-meat dishes) and filled their cups with soda (they pretended it was champagne, because technically they were all underage, not that any of the yamis or Touzouko cared; but Ryou wouldn't let them drink alcohol).

"This looks delicious!" Mr. Bakura exclaimed as his son placed a plate in front of him. "Well done Ryou!

Beaming with pride, Ryou expressed his thanks and slid back into his chair, a huge smile still decorating his face.

"It does taste really good," The rest admitted in unison.

Ryou's smile was so big you'd think he was starring in a toothpaste commercial.

* * *

Dinner was finished, the dinner plates were watched, and everyone's stomach practically screamed "I'm stuffed".

Then they screamed "I'll make room" when Ryou brought in a big lemon pie.

Why did he make a lemon pie and not a pumpkin pie?

Screw you. It's a pie.

"Happy Thanksgiving everyone!" The brown-eyed boy said happily, hugging each and every one of them.

Heck, he even kissed Bakura on the cheek (Touzouko made a pitiful face and Ryou felt so much sympathy he kissed him too, much to Bakura's rage). Marik was too busy stuffing his face with pie to be smooched and Mariku was raiding the fridge of Ginger Ale.

Once the pie was consumed, they all just sat in the living room and talked.

And by talked I mean no one said a word to each other aside from Ryou and his father.

But, despite this, it had been a wonderful Thanksgiving. When Mariku and Marik finally went home, Ryou fell asleep on the couch, oblivious to the fact that three pairs of eyes were watching him lovingly.

"He looks like an angel when he sleeps," Bakura whispered to himself, smiling. Thank Ra no one noticed, because that would've been extremely embarrassing –

Oh, crap. Someone did. Oh well.

"I wonder if you'll look that peaceful on your death bed," Touzouko wondered aloud.

"Shut up, wanker."

"Love you too, kitty."

"Both of you shut up. My son's trying to sleep."

" _You_ shut up, old man. We're busy watching him sleep."

"...I suppose I'll see you both in the morning. Good night, Touzouko Bakura and Yami Bakura."

And boom. He fell asleep on the couch. Just like that. Touzouko and Bakura got bored with watching Ryou sleep (as beautiful as he was) and cuddled up next to him before jumping into the Slumber-land portal as well.

And that, my friends, marks the end of the wonderful tale that is the Bakuras' Thanksgiving. I hope it filled your heart with joy, compassion, and… er… some other nice word.

* * *

 **ain't it just beautiful**

 **REVIEW PEOPLE. I seriously need reviews because I want to die right now due to "certain health problems" and I'd be very thankful if you all reviewed. Even if you just said "hi" I'd be elated. That's how utterly desperate I am. e_e**


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